The anti-bucket list

I’ve gradually learned to weary of bucket lists so I have decided to list the things I will not do, or places that I won’t visit, before I die. An “anti-bucket list” (thank you PY) so to speak.

1. Own a smart phone

samsung-unveils-first-windows-phone-8-smartphone-2f10fbf9d2 Brilliant invention I’ll grant you, but really “get a life”. We are surrounded by information. I have the internet at home and in the office. Do I really need to be online in between or, worse still, on holiday. Look up from that phone.

2. Bungee Jump

imagesELULNYNW

An adrenalin “rush” I certainly don’t need. I get the same from seeing for the first time a new Rembrandt and my head is where it should be – the right way up.

3. Read James Joyce’s Ulysses

Joyce%20Ulysses%20750%20wraps%201000This is my “albatross”. A more than once new year resolution. I’ve tried, I’ve really tried. I cannot get beyond the first chapter. I just don’t have the application or endurance. There are so many other good books out there and so little time.

So farewell James Joyce I really won’t be missing you.

4. Visit Los Angeles

Sunset-Blvd

I’ll try to avoid. I’ve seen enough of LA in the movies and on TV – it’s ubiquitous and nothing I’ve seen compels me to go. Anyway as Peter Sellers used to say you can’t find a decent curry there. Of course I’m cognizant there are people who live there who never want to leave it.

I await the storm of indignation.

5. Visit Las Vegas

las_vegas_welcomeI can’t quite decide where I would least like to visit between Las Vegas and Los Angeles. They both seem to compete in terms of superficiality and materialism. Highly prejudicial I know as I haven’t been to either. For someone for who a lonely windswept Scottish loch represents earthly paradise, Las Vegas is the nemesis. I’ll leave its delights to others.

6. Visit Venice

Joseph-Mallord-William-Turner-Paintings-Venice-San-Giorgio-Maggiore-in-the-MorningThe trouble with Venice is that beauty attracts. I would rather contemplate that beauty on a Guardi or Turner canvass. The reality will be quite different; a city teeming with tourists and touts and with overpriced hotels and restaurants.

A beautiful city doubtless but I don’t wish to add to the crowd. Now could I go to Florence and avoid the same?

7. Go potholing

Caving%2016_JPGThe thought just makes me shiver. Every form of physical activity or sport carries with it some element of danger but this activity hits more dangerous buttons than most. Death by falling, death by drowning, death by exposure…I don’t think you can die of claustrophobia…can you?

You don’t even get a decent view.

8. Climb Everest

107463305_Everest1_301050cWho in their dreams hasn’t wanted to climb Everest? I have loved climbing mountains and, more lately, hills. Accounts of the Everest expeditions in the 1920’s are riveting not least for the description of splendorous isolation. Not for nothing was Wade Davis’ award winning book was entitled “Into the Silence”. Nowadays you have to queue.

9. Go on a sea cruise

0510cruiseshipsunsetDM_428x269_to_468x312Occasionally there are “fly on the wall” type documentaries on TV on life aboard giant sea cruise ships. I look on these programmes with a kind of horrified fascination. All that enforced jollity and unspontaneous fun. Caribbean ports dwarfed by these monsters.

Romantic it certainly ain’t.

10. Join a golf club

crossed-golf-club-clipart-RidKgqX6TDon’t get me wrong I do like golf. But my kind of course is the “non-member”, honesty box, fairway trimmed by sheep kind of course. The park your car beside the first tee kind off course, golf buggy-free kind of course, and where, OK I invariably don’t make par but the view is great  anyway. The kind of course that doesn’t mind if I have forgotten my golf shoes or is concerned about my playing in a shirt without  a collar or my sharing of my playing companion’s golf clubs.

I won’t join a golf club.

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About The Weary Traveller

I like to walk up and down hills. I've been so very fortunate to have lived most of my life in the Far East (Hong Kong, Malaysia, Singapore, Thailand, Vietnam) and the Middle East (Qatar, Oman and U.A.E). I now live and work in Bangkok. I'm past the half century now and can't help but feel that some of the mountains that I've climbed lately I should have done yesteryear. The mind is willing if the legs are not always so. Here are some stories and realized dreams of hills climbed and, dales and deserts crossed. With a bit of art thrown in. I hope you might enjoy.
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6 Responses to The anti-bucket list

  1. Love it Pat! I agree with 3, 7, 8 and 10. Have already done most of the others! Bungee jumping was the worst – had to be done though!

  2. @timhannay says:

    A somewhat contradictory view on smartphones from someone who writes a blog. The smartphone has the ability to liberate you from the office – you could actually be outside more, not stuck at your desk. Who knows, one or two of those people looking down could actually be reading Ulysses, or even booking a tee time at Lochcarron.

    • True to an extent but has a smartphone “liberated” you from your office? To the contrary these devices have contributed to the office encroaching on our private lives. Lochcarron is, Im glad to say, not one of those courses that you can book a tee-off time or need to be a member of.

  3. Very good. I share your list but expect we’ll have to concede on the smart phone before long. You could add ‘Pay Tax’ to the list.

  4. the hannay says:

    tattoos and blackpool-nuff said

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